She says She loves me…

She says she loves me
So she clings to me, even when I want to be left alone
But she’s beautiful

Like sometimes when I have things on my mind, shes the perfect person to listen
And she only gives advise
She says she loves me
And she only gives advice
She says she loves me…

Like when I wake up in the morning, she’s sitting on the edge of the bed with a plate of food, wanting to feed me
She says she needs me
She says she loves me…

Or like when I’m stepping out of the shower, she’s standing there with the towel, wanting to, wanting to dry me off
She says, she says she loves me

So she clings to me, even when I want to left alone

And Sometimes I lose control, and I hit her

And she forgives me…

Because she says she loves me

Even when the neighbors call the cops

She’s yelling, screaming “No stop!”

“I feel in the shower, I tripped and I hurt myself”

She says she loves me

Or like when her mother tell her to get the restraining order

She’s telling her mother that I didn’t do nothing wrong

That she made me mad

She says she loves me

Because she’s afraid to admit

That I am evil,

See, she’s afraid to admit…

That I hurt her because if she admits it

She’ll have to admit that she has made another mistake

Like having four children by four different men

Or by being 30 years old and not being able to read.

So instead of admitting that she has made another mistake
she stays with me

She says she loves me…

And I don’t know about love

Born in a orphanage where the people around me

All they wanted to do was get awa

So when she said she loves me

I feel something that I can’t explain

That I cannot name,

So when she says she loves me

I say “I love you too.”

She says she loves me

Like when I lost my job, times are hard trying to raise this family of 6

I hate this.

And when I walk in the house I just tell her

Just let me be, just let me get some rest then maybe later we can talk

But she tells me I have things on my mind and I need to unwind

And she’s there to listen

And when I try to walk away

She keeps on following me

And so when I walk into the bedroom and I try to close the door

She holds it.

And I lose control…

And I hit her and I hit her again.

And I hit her again.

On into the living room, out into the street for all eyes to see

And ain’t none of you stop me

But I was so in rage, its like almost being dazed and

I kept on hitting her, and I kept on hitting her

And her body hit the ground, my feet begin to pound

Against her flesh

And the only reason that I stopped

Because my hand hurt

And now when I look at my fist

I really can’t tell whose blood it this

But by then the pain begin to fade

I look down and I see clear

Something is wrong

Something ain’t right

My baby, she’s not breathing right

So I kneel down beside her

I wish I could crawl up inside her

And heal the all the pain that I’ve caused

See I know that it was my fault

And she wanted to reach for me

But she was just too weak

But she managed to mumble

She loves me

She said she loves me

And she has loved me until death did us apart.

                                                                               - Lamont Carey

5 months ago  /  2 notes